Christopher " Beachcomber" Hurst , you have been summoned to appear in the forenoon on 31 January(Wigan game) in the year of our Lord 2009 to answer to the aforesaid charge that you "did cause delays " to the journey home from the Bolton game.
You are a habitual casual light drinker who regards delays as an occupational hazard and as such a punishment will be attended upon you on this day.
This punishment will be deffered on the presentation of 12 Creme Eggs for the pleasure of your fellow passengers.